I have to be fine with who I am not

I have to be fine with who I am not. This thought has occupied my mind for a while now.

The statement “I have to be fine with who I am not” certainly invites a deeper level of self-awareness. It challenges me to confront my limitations, accept them, and still find contentment. This acceptance is not a sign of defeat or complacency; rather, it’s an acknowledgment that I am a work in progress, and that’s okay. It invites to yet another inquiry.

“What is the truth of me?”  My truth is a complex interplay of my beliefs, experiences, desires, and limitations. It’s what guides my actions and shapes my worldview. Finding my truth requires a willingness to explore my inner landscape, to question my assumptions, and to be open to new experiences that may reshape an understanding of myself.

Today, I was dishonest but truthful with myself. Does this still count as lying, even if it feels justified? But does it? What drives us to lie in the first place?

I feel that the act of lying can be both a conscious and unconscious act. How do I differentiate the two?

I believe I’ve partially answered the former question already. Sometimes we lie not out of malice, but as a coping mechanism for situations we find difficult to handle. It’s a way to shield ourselves—and sometimes others—from our own shortcomings. This raises another question: am I comfortable being dishonest if it helps me navigate a situation I’m not yet skilled at handling?

As I recognise that there’s a problem or a challenge I’m trying to avoid, lying becomes a tool to manage that difficulty. This, in turn, necessitates, to examine my motivations and the ethical implications of my actions.

As I draw nearer to understanding my own truth, I’m reminded of a long-held belief: that I am innately good, and this goodness is my default state. I find solace in the idea that certain aspects of me remain constant, while others are subject to change. This realization brings me a sense of comfort, as it reinforces my core values and provides a stable foundation upon which I can continue to grow and evolve.

I’m leaving it at that…

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